This past week marked the one year anniversary of a tragic event. Many of you will recall a good friend of ours was surprised by an intruder in his home one year ago. The intruder was violent and high and a horrible struggle resulted in our friend shooting and killing the man. The violation caused by the events surrounding this death have dramatically affected the life of our good friend. The loss of security, the uncertainty surrounding the outcome of the justifiable homicide investigation, the physical and psychological damage that was done has forever changed an honorable, strong, and decent man.
Our friend mentioned that he was upset because he was being harassed by the family of the slain intruder. A neighbor, leaving early in the morning found a poinsettia and a candle in his driveway on the day before the anniversary. The neighbor kindly removed it because she "didn't think he needed to see them." Then around midnight on the anniversary, the same neighbor called neighborhood security to have them disband a group who were standing in the driveway holding a candlelight vigil for the slain man. When security arrived, they were quickly dispersed.
These events have resulted in increased security in this neighborhood and a feeling of anger over the harassment and a heightened concern for their safety.
This scenario has been banging around in my head for days now. What is our need for remembrances at the sight of a violent death? Is it possible that the cultural gulf here is so wide that what appears as harassment is more a deep shame mixed with a need to acknowledge the place where the brother, son and uncle died a horrible death? What would we do if one of ours committed such a horrible crime? How can a good man who is forced to kill in order to protect his own home and life not be angry at such an intrusion?
